"Old Comics Home"


David Tyree


With their entertaining careers pretty much in the rear view mirror except for the occasional guest appearance on some late show with Byron Allen, and not enough money in their retirement coffers to afford private residences, Martin, Fred, Brenner and David are forced to live in a retirement home for aging comedians. Somewhat disappointed and embarrassed by their situation, they come to realize this just might be the best possible scenario for them to live out their remaining years. All have children that visit occasionally but they're on their own most of the time.

They spend it in the common room playing cards and talking about the past. And once a week, usually Friday, they treat themselves to a trip to the Mall where they sit on a bench, gawk and make lewd comments to the young girls as they're walking past.

When they take us down memory lane, we leave the retirement home and show clips of the guys performing on stage.

(E.g. When I tell the story about being in Las Vegas with Rodney Dangerfield always walking around in his robe and nothing on under it, we go to a clip of my performance on RD's, "Really Big Show". We all have treasure chests of video footage of ourselves.)

Our main scene is the weekly Card Games, Poker, Bridge, Canasta, Pinochle, etc.. in the common room. As we play cards, Other comics move in and out of the scene. Muledeer walks around asking everyone if they've seen a garbage can marked #2 with props from, "Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore" and Argus rehearsing his, "I love Mitzi, let me count the ways," speech. B.J. Douglas comes up and asks what we think of his new Bill Cosby impression. Kip comes in asking everyone if they've got any "blow" and Charlie Hill's constantly mumbling about what the "White man" has done to his people... It's all one big, OLD joke.

Sour grapes will play a major role as we reminisce. For me it would be the talentless Arsenio Hall making it big and getting his own show. Even though he's now getting his just due and relegated to carnival barker for some schister loan company; I'm still bitter and can't let it go.

Click here to find out more about this project.


Click here for David Tyree's look at what happens to a man going through menopause.


Old Comics Home

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